Monday, February 21, 2011

Dumb and Ugly Theory

Upon recent excavation in a now non-existent city which historical records show to be named Portland, an interesting discovery was found. The small three dimensional form provide many new clues into what life was like back in the 2000's thanks to carbon dating. Due to the use of styrofoam and plastic adhesive siding it will be preserved for years to come. Located next to the piece was a small inscription found on a degraded blackboard stating 'Dumb and Ugly' which scientists have now determined was to the goal to this piece. Rumors have always circulated about Portland State's program to end over population and now we have the missing link. Psychologists teamed up with artists on a government initiative. The theory of this top secret project was that the only real combat to over population was not children mandates of China, or sterilization of India, but instead a more obscure approach to make children so unhappy that future parent would not want to have any. The prototype was this children's toy so dumb and so ugly no child who ever received one would ever be happy. This idea is seen in the rushed-like cutting technique seen around the edges of the figure which no doubt took months for a machine to get just right. The lack of discernible features in the figures animal head made the 'animal' toy unable to relate to on a emotional level causing extra unhappiness for children. There seems to be a small leash attached to this toy with the idea that the child could walk it like a pet, but with no wheels or mobility features, similar frustration was again felt at having to drag it around. Millions were to be produced but somewhere along the way their budget was cut and the population continued to soar as children remained happy with cuter toys and parents continued to want them, which as we all know, is what lead to the end of their civilization. This object is now being held at Princeton's Department of Art and Archaeology for further study.

-Veva Campeau

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